I did grapple with the title for a while—should I call them women or ladies? In the end, I went with women because it felt more natural, more honest, and somehow more fitting. This one’s a tad lengthy…

And as I put the proverbial pen to paper today, the timing feels especially appropriate. One of the three women I’m going to write about is celebrating her birthday today. 😀

Perhaps there’s no better day to begin.

Those of you who have read my previous posts will know that I grew up in Kerala and moved to Madras in 1995.

Compared with many other parts of India, women in Kerala have traditionally enjoyed a somewhat greater degree of respect and independence. But that does not mean Kerala—or, for that matter, the rest of us—is free from misogyny. Far from it. It is deeply ingrained in our society, our attitudes and, sometimes, even in the way we think and behave. I have to admit that I, too, have been guilty of it.

Over the years, however, I’m grateful to God for giving me the wisdom to better understand women, to appreciate who they are, and, above all, to respect them for the extraordinary gifts that they truly are.

I’ve also been blessed with some remarkable women in my life. Their friendship, love, strength and wisdom have shaped me in ways I probably didn’t fully appreciate at the time. In many ways, they have made me a better human being.

In this post, I want to write about three women who have had a particularly profound influence on my life: Prema, my sister; Suni, my sister-in-law; and Gayathri, my wife.

Prema, whom my brother Joseph and I call Pengal (Malayalam for sister), is six years older than me—and today, she celebrates her birthday. So, happy birthday, Pengal! 😄

My earliest memories of her are of a wonderfully organised schoolgirl, meticulously dressed and ready with her schoolbag, but often in tears because she had the unenviable responsibility of dragging me to school! I hated going to school; I much preferred sitting at home with the many books we had and listening to my grandfather’s stories. She got married and left home when I was in Class 8, by which time I had developed a rather unexpected “fondness” for school. 😄

Years later, I had the privilege of living with her and her family. I watched her juggle a demanding home front, her two energetic boys—my dear nephews, who are fine young men today—and the role of a supportive wife to a husband with a demanding corporate career. We grew much closer during those years, and she was a tremendous source of encouragement when I was going through some difficult times. She even became my wedding planner!

My boys adore her, not least because they know that when Pengal comes home, there will be plenty of her sumptuous cooking to gorge on. 😄

When she suddenly and unexpectedly lost her husband years later, I watched her face adversity with remarkable strength. She took charge of the family’s affairs and finances and went on to build a successful career. Through it all, she placed her faith in God and then rolled up her sleeves and worked tirelessly. And somehow, even in the midst of everything she was dealing with, she always found—or made—the time to stay connected with the rest of the family.

That is the Pengal I know: strong, organised, resilient, deeply caring, and always there for the people she loves.

Suni—Suneeta, my sister-in-law, whom I call Suni or sometimes Suni Chechi—came into my life in 1994, when she and my brother Joseph got married. We didn’t know each other particularly well in the beginning, but one quality I’ve always admired in her is her straightforwardness and honesty, even when the situation is uncomfortable. In a family, and perhaps even more so in an Indian family, speaking your mind isn’t always the most appreciated trait! 😄

Suni is also one of the hardest-working professionals I know, balancing her career and family with remarkable aplomb. Together, she and Joseph have lived and worked in the Middle East, moved to Canada, and then made the “short” journey to Australia, where they have finally put down roots.

Uprooting your life and making another country your home is never easy, but Suni has done more than build a home in a new country—she has made sure that the family back home remains close. She has sometimes been misunderstood for simply speaking the truth, but that has never stopped her from being warm, genuine and deeply caring. And, of course, it’s always a lot of fun—and laughter—when we’re together.

Gatts – Gayathri, my dear wife of 28+ years—or perhaps I should say my long-suffering wife! We met at work in 1996 and were married by January 1998. You can read a little about how it all began in one of my earlier blogs, “A Sadya for Dinner.”

Gatts and I are so different. She is soft-spoken, composed and dignified—even, and especially, in the most difficult circumstances. She has been a rock-solid support to me and the boys, particularly when life hasn’t gone according to plan.

As the person I’ve shared the longest and closest journey with, Gatts has been my pillar of strength. Whenever I’ve questioned the many things that seemed to be going “wrong,” she has gently but firmly reminded me of Romans 8:28.

When work kept me away from home for long stretches, she somehow managed two demanding boys alongside an equally demanding job—with grace and never a complaint. I watched in amazement as she rose early, got the boys out of bed, packed their lunches, made sure they had everything they needed for school, and still made it to work on time! And when the inevitable school emergency call came, she would simply drop everything and take care of it.

She made it all look effortless—and that, more than anything, is what I admire about her.

In all honesty, my relationships with family and friends improved enormously after I married Gatts. Her attention to detail is legendary—whenever the boys or I send out a résumé or application, she is quick to spot the glaring omissions that somehow escape all our collective eyes!

And then there’s her Hindustani singing. It’s a joy to watch her pursue music and delve into the intricacies of ragas with such childlike enthusiasm. When she’s in her music zone, you can see the stresses of the day melt away and she’s all charged up.

Not a day goes by without me thanking the Lord for giving me Gatts as my partner in life.

As I come to the end of this rather long piece, I’m grateful for all the wonderful women the Lord has placed in my life—women who, in so many ways, have made me a better man. There are far too many of you to write about individually, so I chose to begin with family. 😅 To all the others, please know that you are no less cherished or appreciated.

God bless!!!